Kaj se zgodi z dušo po samomoru


tunel

Sprva sem oklevala, če bi se sploh lotila te teme, ki nosi neko čudno težo, pa vendar me je zanimalo, kaj se zgodi z dušo v primeru samomora. Vsako leto se na 10. september, ki je razglašen za svetovni dan preprečevanja samomora s strani Svetovne zveze za preprečevanje samomora IASP in Svetovne zdravstvene organizacije WHO, z namenom, da bi okrepili zavest o tem, da je samomor mogoče preprečiti, objavljajo statistični podatki, kjer se iz leta v leto ponavlja informacija, da Slovenija sodi v sam vrh po številu samomorov, pri čemer se izpostavlja tudi večje število moških, kar velja skoraj za vse države. Pa vendar statistika zveni tako daleč in tuje, ko pa nekdo od tebi bližnjih konča pot na tak način, te iste številke dobijo drugačno podobo.

At first, I hesitated to talk about the subject that carries such a heaviness, and jet I wondered what happens to people who commit suicide. Each year on September 10, which is declared World Day for Suicide Prevention by IASP (The international association for the study of Pain) and WHO (World health organisation) in order to raise awareness that suicide is preventable, the statistic is published and each year information repeated itself, that Slovenia has the highest number of suicides rate. Also in almost all countries suicides is higher among man than the woman. And statistic seems so far and cold, but when someone you know ends his life than statistic number obtain a different image.

[Slovenian above | English below]


Ko se zgodi trenutek smrti, je ta sama po sebi šok za svojce in prijatelje, kakor da pričakujemo, da bomo živeli večno in življenje takoj dobi drugačen prizvok in dragocenost, verjetno zaradi zavedanja minljivosti, na katero pozabimo v vsakdanji rutini. V primeru samomora pa je ta šok pomešan še z občutkom krivde in sramu in tisto neko čudno težo, ki bremeni celotno družino in najbližje. Verjetno ni osebe, ki se ni vprašala, zakaj. In ko gre za osebo, ki bil je kakor sonce, ki druge motiviral je in inspiriral in kjer se ne ve, kdo ga je bolj imel rad, otroci ali odrasli, potem je ta šok še toliko večji. In žalost. Da se ni mogel obrniti na nikogar, ki bi mu pomagal ga potegniti ven iz teme; ob čemer sem se spraševala, kako huda je morala biti bolečina, da se je odločil za tak korak.

Nekaj časa me je spremljala žalost in iz spomina so prišle tri zgodbe posameznikov o neuspelih poskusov samomora. Prva je zgodba osebe, ki dlje časa je trpel za hudo depresijo in se je določil, da bo svojo pot končal tako, da se bo postavil na avtocesto z namenom, da ga zbije avto. Pripovedoval je, kako je skadil poslednji cigaret na robu avtoceste, se poslovil in stopil na cesto. V tistem trentuku, kakor da bi vsi avtomobili izginili, namreč naenkrat ni bilo nikjer nobenega avtomobila. Čakal je nekaj časa, nato pa se mu je ponovno zluštal cigaret. Stopil je ob rob ceste, prižgal cigaret in v tistih petih minutah, kar je kadil cigaret je bil totalni naval. Skadil je cigaret do konca in šel na cesto in ponovno se je avtocesta kakor spraznila in nikjer nobenega avtomobila. Ta situacija se je ponovila 3 krat, nakar se je odločil, da ga očitno nekdo ima rad in je opustil misel po samomoru. Na vprašanje, zakaj se je umaknil z avtoceste, ko je šel kadit, me je odgovor spravil v smeh, namreč za cigareto si je potrebno vzeti čas saj je kajenje užitek.
Drugo zgodbo mi je pripovedovala oseba, ki je v preteklosti imela velike težave in depresijo in se je odločila, da svojo pot zaključi s skokom pod vlak. Odpravila se je do tračnic, ki so bile dokaj blizu njene hiše. V trenutku, ko bi naj skočila pod vlak, je za njo prišel njen pes. Pravi, da ji je bilo preveč nerodno, da bi se ubila pred psom, zato je to misel opustila.
Tretjo zgodbo mi je pripovedoval prijatelj, ki je v času najstništva imel velike težave doma in kako se je v enem trenutku odločil, da bo storil samomor in skočil z mosta. Pri tem se mu je noga zagozdila med rešetke na mostu in tako ni mogel skočiti. Komaj je dobil nogo iz rešetk in v tistem si je tudi premislil glede samomora ter odšel domov. Pravi, da je misel na samomor prišla kot en trenutek zaradi neznosnih razmer, ki pa se ni nikdar več ponovil in tudi doma so se zadeve uredile. Ko mi je razlagal to zgodbo in kako se mu je noga zagozdila in kako je nogo vlekel z rešetk, sva se oba krohotala, prvo zato, ker ta prijatelj zgleda totalno komično in ob tem prizoru, bi bil pravi za v film od Woody Allena. Stvarstvu hvala, konec dober vse dobro.

Odnos, ki ga imamo do samomora se je tekom časa spreminjal, tako je v zgodovini samomor različno sprejet in obravnavan; pri starih Perzijcih je samomor skupaj z zakonolomstvom in cestnim ropom sodil med najhujše moralne prestopke. V hebrejski Bibliji in Novem testamentu samomor ni prepovedan, a se je odnos do samomora spremenil saj je pri Judih prihajalo do številnih skupinskih samomorov, prvi takšen znan je bil v Masadi, ko se je ubilo 960 preživelih braniteljev Judov, da ne bi prišli v roke Rimljanov. Častni samomor z namenom, da bi se izognili ujetništvu, ponižanju in mučenju do smrti je bilo nekako družbeno sprejemljivo, tako se je zastrupil kartažanski vojskovodja Hanibal, ko ga je Prusias, kralj Bitnije (današnja Turčija), h kateremu se je zatekel, nameraval izročiti Rimljanom, Kleopatra bi se naj ubila s pomočjo kačjega strupa, pri samurajih je samomor (harakirli ali sepuku) bil del obreda, ki so ga uporabili, da nebi prišli v sovražnikove roke.
In če so v stari Grčiji do 6. stol.pr.n.št. samomor dopuščali, je ta pri Rimljanih bil dopuščen le, če so to zahtevali bogovi v obliki žrtvovanja. Leta 860 je papež Nikolaj I. samomor proglasil za smrtni greh, samomorilca pa so zakopali izven prostora, ki je bil namenjen za druge pokojnike. Nad telesi samomorilcev so tudi izživljali, tako je v Atenah bil običaj, da so samomorilcu odsekali roko, s katero je opravil to dejanje, v Rimu so samomorilcu, ki se je obesil, odrekli častni pogreb, v Angliji je bil običaj, da so samomorilce ponoči sežgali na križu, potem, ko so jim kol zabili v srce. Takšno prakso so izvajali do leta 1823.
V času reformacije, je Martin Luther v Velikem katekizmu poudaril, da hudič številne žene, da storijo samomor. Prav zaradi tega pa jih ne bi smeli obsojati, saj ne ravnajo po svoji svobodni volji. Za časa Jožefa II. je za samomor bila izrečena policijska kazen, kar se je nadlje obržalo v Angliji, kjer je samomor bil kazniv. Posledično je v Londonu nastala med prvimi posvetovalnica, v kateri so delovali specialisti zdravniki, psihoanalitiki in drugi pod imenom Društvo za reševanje samomorilcev.

Različni so razlogi zakaj se nekdo odloči storiti samomor, pri čemer je skupno to, da se želijo osvoboditi neznosne bolečine in trpljenja. In če se vrnem na začetno vprašanje, kaj se zgodi z dušo v primeru samomora, ki ga skoraj vse religije smatrajo kot enega izmed smrtnih grehov, me pri tem ne zanima obsojanje ali moraliziranje saj se verjetno nihče ne odloči za ta drastičen korak iz ljubega miru.
Alison DuBois, ki sem jo že omenjala kot izjemen medij, več o njej si lahko prebereš TUKAJ, pravi, da gre za porušeno hormonsko ravnotežje in ko smo na drugi strani dobimo vpogled in jasnost, kar pomeni, da prvo kar ji omenijo je to, da jim je žal za storjeno dejanje.
Vpogled, ki ga izpostavlja Helena P. Blavatsky (1831-1891) ustanoviteljica teozofskega društva pravi, da se posameznik, ki je storil samomor s tem ni odrešil bolečine, ravno nasprotno, to stanje ponavlja v Kama Loki, ki je nekakšen astralno-psihični prostor, kjer posameznik lahko vidi, kar se dogaja na Zemlji v povezavi z ljudmi in situacijami, ki se tičejo njegovega življenjskega poslanstva, ne more pa nič narediti. V tem prostoru je tako dolgo, kot jim je bilo sprva namenjeno živeti. Torej če je bilo osebi namenjeno da živi 90 let, naredi samomor pri 20, bo v Kama Loki 70 let, pri čemer se ne razvija ali kako drugače napreduje in s še vedno prisotno isto bolečino, ki ga je gnala v samomor ponavljajoč slike storjenega dejanja. Torej se s samomorom ne razreši nič, prej nasprotno, stanje bolečine se poglobi.
Izkušnjo, ki jo opisuje meni drag Eckhart Tolle, eden velikih učiteljev našega časa pravi, da je bil v globoki depresiji in anksioznosti, ko se je odločil, da bo storil samomor, saj ne more živeti sam s sabo. In kot filozof po naravi se je ob tem vprašal, kdo je ta, ki ne more živeti z mano? Preko tega vprašanja je doživel trenutek resnice in ločitev od lažnega ega, čemur je sledilo razsvetljenje, stanje blaženosti in miru. In ostalo je zgodovina.

Verjetno ima vsak svojo predstavo glede ljudi, ki se odločijo za to dejanje, eni jih smatrajo za strahopetce, drugi morebiti pomislijo, da za takšno dejanje je potreben tudi pogum, tretji jih obsojajo, pa vendar nihče ne ve, v kakšni situaciji ali stanju se znajde posameznik, kjer mu takšno dejanje predstavlja odrešitev. Ko sem zvedela novico glede samomora dušice, ki ga nikakor drugače ne morem imenovati kot prelepo sonce, je bila moja prva misel, škoda, lahko bi se razsvetlil. Vprašanje, če bodo kdaj prišli odgovori na zakaj in čemu, namesto tega predlagam lepo molitev za dušico, ki znašla se je v težki zgodbi.

Za vsak slučaj:
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01 520 99 00 – Klic v duševni stiski (med 19. in 7. uro zjutraj)


pero-barvn3

When death occurs it is like a state of shock for family and friends, as if somehow we expect to live forever and death becomes kind of reminder that we should cherish life that we so often take for granted and forgotten in daily routine. But in a case of suicide, this shock of death is also mixed with guilt and shame and strange heaviness that you can feel it has spread around as burden to the family and loved ones, who are left with one question, why. And when suicide is committed by a person who is like the sun, who motivates and inspire others, whom so many people love and children adore, then the shock is even bigger. And sorrow. And realisation that he couldn’t find anyone among so many people who loved him, to be able to express what he was going through, that there was no one to help him and pull him out of the darkness, and that he was in such a pain and suffering that suicide was the only way out.

For some time I was accompanied by sorrow, and from memory came three individual stories of failed suicide attempts. The first is the story of a person who suffered a long time from deep depression and was determined to end his life. He decided that the best way is to stand on a highway in order to be struck by a car. He smoked his last cigarette on the edge of the road, said goodbye and stepped into the highway. Statistically, on a highway, there is a car every 3 second, but when he stepped on the road suddenly there was not even one car. He waited and then he got cravings for a cigarette. He stepped on the edge of the road, lit a cigarette, and in those five minutes, while he was smoking total rush occurs. Cars were everywhere. Then he finished his smoking step on the highway and again no car. That scenario happens 3 times. Then he decided that apparently someone does love him that’s how he abandoned the idea to commit suicide. Whan, I asked him, why he withdraws from the highway for smoking, he answered, that you need to take time for a cigarette because smoking brings pleasure.
The second story was about a girl who had big difficulties and was dealing with depression and has decided to finish her life with jumping under a train. Close to her house there was and still is a railway and she went there. In the moment when the train was arriving, her dog came after her. And she sad that she was too embarrassed to kill herself in front of the dog, so she let go that thought and went home.
The third story was told by a friend that at the time of adolescence had big problems at home that become so unbearable that in one moment he decided to commit suicide by jumping from the bridge. In his attend to jump from the brig, his leg got stuck between the bars on the bridge and thus he was not able to jump. He barely even got a leg out from the grid. And in that moment by pulling his leg out, he changed his mind by abandoned the suicide idea and went home. He says that the thought of suicide came as a result of a moment of unbearable conditions, and that idea never crossed his mind again, and at home, the situation settled and became more stable. When he was explaining how he was pulling out his stuck leg, we were both laughing out loud, and I can imagine that scene as one of the scenes that you can only see in Woody Allen movies. All I can say is, thank God, that all ended well.

The attitude toward suicide has changed over time, for example in ancient Persia, suicide along with road robbery was one of the biggest breakings of law. In Hebrew Bible and in the New Testament suicide is not prohibited, but this attitude changed due to massive group suicides among Jews. The first known was Masada when 960 Jews killed themselves in order not to fall into the hands of Romans. Although honorary suicide in order to avoid captivity, humiliation, and torture to death was somehow socially acceptable, for example, Hannibal poisoned himself when he realised that he would fall into hands of Romans, also Cleopatra killed herself by using snake venom, and in samurai tradition there is also harakiri or seppuku as a part of the ceremony and samurai code, where he must end his life before being captured by an enemy.
In ancient Greece suicide was tolerated until 6th century BC but in the Roman empire was allowed only if that was the will of goods for the sacrifice purpose. In the year 860 Pope Nicholas I declared that the suicide is a mortal sin and that people who commit suicides must be buried outside place that was otherwise meant for other deceased people. Also it was a custom body mutilation on people who commit suicide, for example in Athens was in customary to cut his hand, in Rome the honorary funeral was declined if you hung yourself, but in England they burned bodies on the cross after they stab the heart; this practice was carried out until the year 1823.
During the Reformation, Martin Luther in the Great Catechism pointed out that devil is making many people commit suicide and because of that we should not judge them because they didn’t act upon their own will. In a time of Joseph II. for suicide was also given a police penalty, that was in practice the longest in England, where suicide was considered as breaking a law. Consequently in London first group of consultants was born named Association for the rescue of suicides, where medical doctors, psychoanalysts and other join together to help people in this matter.

There are many different reasons why someone decides to commit suicide and they all have in common unbearable pain and suffering accompanied by depression and anxiety. Going back to the initial question, what happens to the soul, in the case of suicide almost all religions consider that as a deadly sin, but am not interested in moralization, because probably no one would take such a drastic action if everything was in peace.
Alison DuBois, I have already mentioned as an exceptional medium, more about her you can read HERE, says that disturbed hormonal balance is cause of that kind of action and in her practice almost each person who committed suicide, when entering other side, they gain back vision of clarity and first thing that says is, that they are sorry for such a deed.
Another interesting insight comes from Helena P. Blavatsky (1831-1891) founder of the Theosophical Society. She says that the person who committed suicide is not free of the pain, on the contrary, this goes even deeper. The individual who commits suicide remains fully conscious, trapped in the Kama Loka (the psychic or astral atmosphere surrounding and to some extent interpenetrating the physical plane), able to see and witness everything that’s going on on Earth in regard to the situations and people from which they have severed themselves, and having to remain there for the destined duration of what would have been their life had they not killed themselves. For example, if the person was destined by their Karma to have lived for 90 years in that lifetime but killed themselves at the age of 20, they will have to remain within Kama Loka for 70 years and cannot progress any further until then. They are not able to undergo the complete death process and enter into the state of Devachan – or “Heaven” – until then. While being trapped soul can’t continue or develop progress and all the reason not only stayed as unresolved but the pain become stronger and deeper, and so by suicide, nothing is resolved.
The experience that describes dear Eckhart Tolle, one of the greatest teachers of our time says that he was in a deep depression and anxiety when he decided to commit suicide because »I can’t live with myself anymore.« And as a philosopher by nature, he looked at this sentence and ask, who is he, who can not live with me? And through this question, he realized the truth and then came separation from false ego, followed by enlightenment, the state of bliss and peace. And the rest is history.

Probably everyone has own view of suicide and people who taken that road, for some, they are cowards, for others they are in some way even brave to have the courage to go through that, and other judge them or feel sorry for them, but actually nobody knows in what situations and conditions person was that find suicide as resolution. When I heard news about friend suicide my first though fast, pity, he could be enlightened. Maybe the question why same day will be answered but instead of wondering about it I prefer a pray for this beautiful soul that has taken a very heavy path.

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5 comments

  1. Človek duše sploh nima. Človek duša je.

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